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Conflict Management in Families in Kenya


Date Posted: 1/27/2018 12:53:43 AM

Posted By: ROZA  Membership Level: Silver  Total Points: 961

In Kenya today, there is a trend of people especially men murdering their whole family and then committing suicide. If one follows keenly, you will find that more than ten families if not more have perished in this manner. Although there can be many causes of the above behavior, in most cases the following are causes;

i. Depression
When people lose everything or a great amount of money, they see it as the end of the world for them. This is mostly seen in men. Some people are able to absorb this kind of shock more than others; it all depends on how one is wired. As for the ones who are unable to absorb the shock, it is like their mind is not functioning well at this particular moment. Remember depression doesn’t just happen, it is a process. It is like a journey that one has been walking but now comes to dead end. This is where the mind is affected and now does not work properly. It comes to a point where their minds tell them that it is better to end it all. We see some of them even taking the lives of their loved ones thinking that they are doing them a favor by killing them since they won’t be left struggling. It is a kind of psychological blindness.

ii. Bad family back ground
This is another cause of family conflicts depending on how and where one was raised. If one was raised in a dysfunctional family, one can bring those problems into his own family. Some men were raised in such a way that they have a low opinion of women and vise versa. So they cannot treat them with respect and have this mentality that a woman has to be hit for them to understand what they are being told.

iii. Insecurity

is another cause of family conflicts. This causes a person to be over protective of their partner because they think that they don’t deserve them. They think that they are not good enough for them and they are lucky to have them as their spouse. Again, in case of infidelity, you can find the insecure partner committing even murder.
There are several ways to deal with these problems as a way of managing family conflicts. These are
a) Counseling
People need to reach a place and recognize that they need counseling. This will help them deal with whatever they are going through before it is too late. Agreeing to share your problem before you reach a place of no return will help because someone once said that a problem shared is a problem half solved. The people you are sharing with may not have the solution to your problem but once it is spoken, the problem becomes lighter. Counselors will also tell you what you need to do in order to be able to handle your problem.

b) Communication
This will help people to avoid reaching that place where there is bitterness. This communication should be two ways, not just one person talking and the other one nodding. If there is no communication, some people store up bitterness, and just like a balloon they are ready to burst at the least provocation, making them do unimaginable things that leave us with so many questions. This bitterness can cause diseases, depression or even murder.

c) Premarital counseling
Premarital counseling is very important. It needs to be done before couples start up a family. This prepares the couple to know what to expect in marriage. This is because most couples get into marriage thinking that it is a bed of roses only to get a rude shock, and find out that it has its ups and downs. So there is a lack of unpreparedness as far as marriage is concerned.

d) Know your spouse
Before marriage, one should be able to know their partner very well. They even need to visit their parents and other relatives so as to study them well and know their family background. If one’s potential partner’s parents are mistreating each other, that will be the same way that you will be treated, because an apple does not fall too far away from the tree, never be misguided.

Research has shown that 60% of people who commit murder say it before hand. Most of the threats made are usually not empty threats. Those who commit suicide usually say it many times before they actually do it. These things don’t just happen they are a process. Therefore, they should be taken seriously and the relevant measures taken so as to avoid disasters that could have been avoided.

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