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When is the right time to Tell it all?


Date Posted: 11/26/2012 2:52:53 AM

Posted By: fly1234  Membership Level: Bronze  Total Points: 15

So, you've just found a new potential love partner. This time, you are thinking they might be the one you've been looking for, for so long. All of a sudden, you want to know everything about them-and they about you. But then, you start wondering when is the right time to disclose certain information. How early is too early? Isn't it just too risky?

These are questions that most people ask themselves, not knowing where to find a solution. A certain young man went out for a drink in the evening. He met a beautiful girl who seemed to be interested in him. So they had a quick chat in the over a glass of wine. Sometime past midnight, the girl disappeared into the night and that is when it hit this man that he had shared more than he was supposed to.

His mistake was, he had exposed lots of information about himself with a girl he was meeting for the first time. This is why this issue of telling it all should be tactfully dealt with, knowing what to reveal at just the right time, and bit by bit. This approach is what psychologists call "the reciprocal disclosure of personal information". Avoid telling something too revealing at first, but whenever your partner discloses something, straightaway share something that is similar about yourself.

Issues of trust can make or break a relationship. Successful marriages are about trust. Dr Chris Hurt, a relationship expert says, "You have to be able to completely open with one another, anything less and you are missing on the whole point of being married".

He advises that one should be brave! Crack it up. It's better to part ways 2 weeks into dating rather than 10 wasted years of marriage. It just doesn't make sense.

If you want to do

it well, first establish if your partner can keep secrets and of course remember not to open up on the first date. The process needs to be gradual, starting with how you spend your time, your interests, your likes and dislikes, attitude and values in that order. You can proceed to tell each other about your family backgrounds. Dr Chris says this is where you'll them about your parents, siblings and friends-including any "skeletons" they may be hiding in the cupboards! Isn't this too hard! That's why i told you it needs some boldness.

However, remember to be careful because, just like i said, revealing too much at an inappropriate time can ruin you. Don't tell every tiny detail of every last fling you had. But be careful to own up to anything you choose to say-those wild flings you got up to. and only talk about these things if they have a potential of affecting your future relationship. If you had a child somewhere, tell it or else it will be discovered.

Once you commit to your relationship, ensure you discuss vital issues such as your career, finances, goals and ambitions before you get married. Don't leave out any genetic problems or diseases that might be running in your family or that of your partner's. Your cultural background and expectation in marriage.

This is how you build a solid foundation when it comes to a happy and successful marriage.

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