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Identifying low self-esteem and the cure


Date Posted: 6/11/2013 1:01:36 PM

Posted By: BrianL7  Membership Level: Gold  Total Points: 2289

Is low self-esteem incurable? Is it something we just have that we have to live with for the rest of our lives and just come to terms with because it is part of living? I am here to tell you it is not something we just think of and ignore in an instant. This is a serious matter and can indeed cripple ones personality and well-being. It is one of the non-medical conditions with an adverse impact on our lives and therefore needs to be addressed immediately if not post-haste.
If you think that a person with low self-esteem can only cause damage to himself then you are indeed mistaken. People with low self-esteem can destroy people within their social circle; from families, organisations and even countries. Now that is a huge blast radius and you can now see the gravity of the situation. I have two examples that I am sure you are familiar with. Adolf Hitler and Idi Amin caused the most immense misery to fellow human beings, the reason being that they suffered low self-esteem. At first I thought that they were indeed proud of whom they were and that is why the caused great suffering to people, I have never been so wrong. This does not mean that now you stay out of the blast radius of people you regard having low self-esteem. It means you be aware of the situation and reach out to help otherwise they can be the people who start the next world war and we do not want that.
This condition is not just for a select few but rather a lion’s share of the population of the plantet. It is experienced by more than 80% of the global population, yet many stay in the dark about it and worse still are oblivious

that they suffer from it themselves.
So what are the common symptoms of low self-esteem?
1. One of them “defensiveness”. One is always and constantly defending who they are and what they do when they feel they are being attacked in some way. I have to say that this is more common than we know and I am sure that we have experienced such people in our lives on way or another, it may even be us.

2. Another common symptom is the excessive need for love and approval. Now this is where I am sure I have reached out to more than two thirds of the global population. We as human beings thrive on acceptance and approval and we feel like we do not belong when our peers do not approve of what we do, especially when what they do is done by half the populations. This is common in our youth today and is a disease that needs to be cured. Great individuals do not constantly seek love from others. They know how to create it instead.

3. Another shocking symptom is poor relationships. I know that some will say that the poor relationships that they were in were not their fault and that they failed because the other person was just not compatible or they just didn’t mix so well, they were water and oil. Well, that may be true, but it is also true that some of them broke off because one suffered low self-esteem and did not believe that they could be loved, let alone accepted, by their partner.

4. Promiscuous behavior is something that is now not just common but slowly becoming a part of society. People get involved because they believe that it is something that should be done since their next door neighbor is doing exactly that, ”monkey see, monkey do” so goes the saying. Is it really worth the trouble to cheat on your spouse or partner? Why not just leave them if the relationship is going nowhere? If you think this is right then you may just have low self-esteem.

5. The excessive consumption of alcohol and seeking distractions is another symptom. How? Well, as an individual, by constantly doing this you are seeking some sort of release or a way not to think about the dilemma at hand. You are hoping the problem gets away on its own or you may forget it and it may forget you and go bother some other person. The truth is this is not going to happen, even in a parallel universe. It may be that you are running from who you are and can not accept what you see in the mirror day in day out.

6. Perfectionism is a trait that is common nowadays. Nothing can be perfect and indeed nothing ever made by man will ever be perfect. That is why there is constant upgrades of systems and renewal of parts of a machine as well as updates on software and also repairing tools that are growing old with rust and tear. These are all ways of continuing in the perfection process, but it is endless like finding the beginning of a full circle. If you are the kind of person seeking to be perfect in all things you do then I am here to tell you that that cannot be done. It is admirable that one seeks to become better at something, but it wise to know that you cannot be perfect and live to accept that.

7. Lack of confidence is common to any man and woman. At some point in our lives we thought that we could not do something because we thought that we are not good enough or we did not have the necessary skills and therefore escape opportunities because of the fear of the consequence of taking part in it in the first place.

Now, I know some of you will say that these are just personality traits some may have and it just what defines some people. Is it really a way to define some people and leave it at that?
Nevertheless, I am going to share with you some of the tips that can help you find a cure for your ailment known as low self-esteem, that is, if you have been diagnosed with these symptoms.
Step 1. Awareness.
First step to any healing process is to be aware of existence of the disease in the first place. If you have any of the symptoms described above then you have a low self-esteem. You can do further research on the matter and find out more if this does not satisfy you. You can ask a friend or confide I someone you trust.
Step 2. Acceptance.
Second step is to accept that you have low self-esteem and be glad that you have identified the issue because you are one of the very few people that has identified what ails them and also accepted it.
Do not feel remorseful about it or even ashamed of this fact, best you know so that you can act on it.
Step 3. Get committed.
With any endeavor, it is always wise to be committed to it for it to be successful. You should realize that you are worth so much more than misery and pain and therefore deserve a life of joy and peace. Make a decision to act on the issue and set a goal and reclaim your identity.
Step 4. Take action.
Without this last step then the top 3 are useless and you went through them as a formality. Remember that this is your life and therefore needs to be a masterpiece. There are many resources that you can use. Books, audio and video recordings are effective resources but one thing that is much more helpful is getting a personal coach as he or she will get you to your goal faster and even more effectively. It is common to be afraid to share your problem with a professional coach, reason being they are afraid of being negatively judged. However, true professional coaches will empathize with you and treat what you share with them with utmost respect and confidentiality.
Now, if you are suffering from low self-esteem and you know it then you should go out and fight it off and lead a full life.

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