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How to create and sustain a positive self esteem


Date Posted: 4/29/2018 6:29:07 AM

Posted By: a_jerobon  Membership Level: Silver  Total Points: 522

Self esteem is the feeling that you have on how worthy you are. If you feel that you are beautiful, kind, caring and capable of doing things that you intend to do perfectly then you have a positive self esteem. If you have self doubt, complain a lot, blame others for your mistakes or have a feeling always that you are not good enough then you lack positive self esteem. The following are the common symptoms of lack of positive self esteem.
1. Feeling of extreme jealously.
2. Feeling helpless and unable to make decisions.
3. Expressing extreme anger over small misunderstandings.
4. Feeling unloved or uncherished by loved ones.
5. Feeling of insecurity and lack of trust in relationships.

Lack of positive self esteem is very dangerous to our health, how we perform tasks and the rate of our achievements. It can lead to psychological disorders like depression and extreme anxiety. Sadly, many people do not realize how having a positive self esteem is important in their lives. They have become slaves of their own inner criticism and comparing themselves with others. This causes them to perform poorly daily. Self esteem is a very important trait both to your physical and psychological health. It enables you to make sound decisions and provides success in all that you do.
Self esteem is neither hard to create nor to sustain. However, many people fail because of lack of enough will power. It is a skill like any other which requires maximum attention in order to be created and sustained. The following are nine surefire ways of creating and sustaining a positive self esteem.

1. Be your own best friend.
The first and most important creator and sustainer of self esteem is the act of being your own best friend. I say

that it is the most important because you can be your own enemy. A best friend is this person who always wants what is best for you. He/she will not judge or critisize your actions. Be that person to yourself. Whenever you feel so negative about yourself just imagine what a best friend would have done to make you feel better. Try to understand yourself even before you ask for help from others. Am saying this because once you understand yourself then whoever you are seeking help from will understand you based on what you understand about yourself.

2. Have time to appreciate yourself.
Set an hour each day just for your own "you time." Use this time to reflect on yourself. You can right down your strengths and weaknesses or just let them flow through you mind. Accept who you are, both you flows and your strengths. Change the changeables and accept the unchangeable. Forgive yourself from mistakes and move on from the past. The best way to move on is to live on the present and stop regretting for the past or obsessing about the future.

3. Use healthy motivation and make self esteem your habit each day.
"Motivation is what gets you started and habit is what keeps you going." Motivation is best done in the morning when your mind is fresh from sleep. You can motivate yourself through reading motivational texts, listening to motivational speeches or even small things like greeting your roommate or neighbor with a smile or commenting on their looks. This sets the tone of your day and hence you keep a positive attitude throughout the day. Ensure that you make this a habit each day and soon self esteem will be your portion.

4. Purpose to always do the right thing.
You know what is right or wrong, right? Exercise the habit of always going the right thing. Do not hesitate when you know it is right to do what you are doing. Hesitation will provide room to consider not doing it, it provides false confidence which is lost immediately when you realise that you have not done the right thing. If for example you have set your alarm to wake up at a certain time to do some exercise, do not procrastinate. Suppress the laziness and do what is right; the exercise.

5. Aim at being good enough and not perfect.
Work hard with the mindset of being good enough. Once you have reached there then you are done. Perfectionism only exists in movies and song lyrics, not in real life situations. Sadly the digital world has trapped people in that mindset of wanting to be like their best movie star. Those are not real. This may sound harsh but trust me you will never be real. So instead of beating yourself up for not reaching a certain point in what you were doing, just relax and be thankful to yourself for the reason that you tried and did your best.

6. Get enough sleep.
Make it a habit to sleep and I mean really sleeping and not just lying in bed and with you eyes closed and mind awake as ever. We grew up with the idea that you must sleep a certain amount of time in order to be okay. Then on growing up we realise that some challenges in life makes it almost impossible to sleep the required amount of time. This makes to beat ourselves up because we have broken the rule of sleeping the given amount of time. My point here is the amount of sleep does not matter, it is the quality that matters most. You can sleep all the eight hours and wake up feeling tired and irritated because if how your mind woke you up severally to tell you that you are in a certain crisis. On the other hand, you can sleep for only four hours and wake up feeling fresh and energetic because you slept fully letting it consume all your troubles and now you wake up freshly to face them. In order to get such quality sleep, try the following three effective ways,
1. Go to bed feeling too tired only to sleep.
2. Get yourself relaxed with some music. Relaxation is a great attraction for sleep.
3. This method has been researched and it helps. When you are in bed but you feel no sleep, hold the end of your smallest left finger with the right hand and concentrate on just holding it. It makes you realax alot.

7. Be yourself.
In everything that you do be yourself. It is as easy as it sounds. If you are an introvert, be it. If you are an extrovert, speak as much as you want. If you are always composed and sober, be it. If you love walking a lot, walk. Do not try to change whoever God created you to be, it is rigid. Once you try to change it, you distort it.

8. Do not compare yourself with others.
This is the biggest distraction of self confidence; comparing yourself with others. When you do this you end up hating yourself because you will always fing others to be better. It may be true that they have achieved more that you but is of worth beating yourself over? Be satisfied with the little you have achieved and set realistic goals that you are sure to achieve. Instead of comparing yourself to them, compare yourself with yourself. Look at what you have achieved compared to where you were in the past.

9. Be free to have fun.
Lastly, have a free spirit inside you. One that just wants to do things with joy. You have decided to build a positive self esteem? Do it and enjoy doing it. That joy in doing it is what keeps you motivated and helps you succeed.

The secret of being confident is one simple skill that requires our attention in order to learn. Learn it even when you think that you are the most confident person on earth. The backbone of it all is finding happiness in actually putting into practice all this nine ways of creating and sustaining a positive self esteem. Happiness is not only what you achieve after doing something incredible but it is also that joy of doing what you love.

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